2k15

"This will be my recovery year!" is what I said to myself, earlier on 2015. I am extremely proud to say that it has been such a great and amazing year. I had my own moments of downs, of course, but as it was supposed to be my so-called recovery year, I recover -- from negativity, bad mentality, and of course the oh-so-typical-subject-of-teenagers, which is called heartbreak. Or heartbreaks, I don't know. But basically, that was my resolution for the year, and I manage to do it. Quite successfully, if I may add. I mean, I was basically someone who use self loathing humor cover up all my insecurities and hatred that I have towards this world. But as the year passes, or passed, I learned that be more accepting of myself, and also others. I learned that people, every single one of us, including me and you, were created differently. I learned that that's the reason why many of the people around me isn't the same as I am, and I started to accept that. I've started appreciating the differences we have, and cherishing the similarities we own.

I've always enjoyed solitude. But for all the wrong reasons. I hated people. I hated (probably still hate) socializing, and pretty much any kind of interaction that I did have with people. I, since little, has always been in constant state of hating, basically. I'm sure I'm not the only one. But as I grew up, my feeling of seeing people as something not worth liking grew as well. Until this one point of turn. I learn that to prefer being in solitude is okay, only if the reason is okay. I now, enjoy solitude because I don't think there's better company than my own self. Not in a negative way weh hahah. I mean, I love making time for my own self (with a bit of socializing in between), because we were born alone, and we will die alone. So, I'm pretty much getting ready for something that hasn't been. Appreciate these temporary people while they're still around, make time with them, cherish them, and once their time come -- bathe in pain all you want. Because pain isn't something that you can't avoid, but the choice whether or not you wanna keep suffering, is all yours to decide. So, yeah.

For 2016, I would like to save a bit amount of money (despite the crazy list of movies that will be released next year, fix my grades, read more books, and of course, to understand and accept people more, no matter who they are. Nothing fancy about those, but that's fine, as long as I'm happy, then that's okay. After all, what matters more that your own personal happiness, kan? I don't know. That;s pretty much everything that I have currently. Happy new year, people!


Best wishes,
M. Qarin Al Maduri