I'm so sorry for being on hiatus (here) for such a long time. This is gonna be quiet a long post, so brace yourself! I've been in college for almost 3 years now (almost 2 years for foundation in PJ, and the rest here, in Gombak. And I'm gonna be a sophomore next year!), and I gotta say, it's a lot lot different from high school, let alone primary school. Some differences, are great, some are not, so this post is dedicated entirely to talk about the time and what I've experienced in IIU.
Friends. For those who are in their 20s, friends is one of the most vital thing -- they either encourage you to keep going or they'd pull you back and let you stay the way you've always been. If there's one thing that I miss about my old friends, is that they are not as judgmental as the people that surround me in college. They don't really care about how people look like, and that's not a culture here. Your look, your appearance matter more than what you have inside. They do judge a book by its cover, and to be completely honest, that's one of the things that I dislike the most about the people here. But in the light of that one particularly disturbing topic, I found myself. I mean, I find myself hangs out more with the people who are not as judgmental, and I learnt to spend less time with people who bring negative vibes -- and that's how I found myself. Though these friends of mine aren't the best there is, they are mine, and I'll do everything to keep them around.
And then, about myself. I've had lots of ups and downs in my life, like I've always mentioned, but the thing about having them during my years in college is that, I find myself mature along with them. I whine lesser and make those hardships as trials and opportunities for me to break from the shell that I've always spend my life in. I could handle the stress from having too much assignments and very short amount of time (actually, I cram everything up until the last minutes, tu yang kononnya banyak assignments lol), I learn to save money, though I'm not good with it, I see myself making progress and I learn to socialize correctly. I was this terribly awkward piece of shit, but I'm getting better now. I now can make presentations well, I can sing and recite poetry in public, and I can finally talk to the opposite gender naturally (yay!).
Finally, about mental health. Some people are ALWAYS sad, some people are so annoyingly happy ALL THE TIME, and this is all due to one's mental health. The thing about most Malaysians, we still don't regard mental problem as a real sickness. But the truth is, like cancer and many other disease, its real! I now spend myself with positive people in order for me to stay positive, but I still talk to people who need help. And if you ever need my help, notify me, but not through twitter replies. I mean, if you're really that serious in wanting to talk about it, text me or meet me up at my room personally. I would be more that happy to help.
I don't know, it feels like I'm talking about random stupid stuff now. But yeah, these are probably things that I've learnt about in college, which helps a lot in making the person I am today.
I can't wait to graduate! (or not),
M. Qarin Al Maduri
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