Strong

"When people are left with only their pains they can change. Sometimes into something they always wanted to be because of their eagerness to keep survive. Sometimes into everything they feared they'd become because of their desire to just die".

Do you know that feelings? Knowing the day of your death getting nearer because you had a disease. I mean, an immortal disease. Well, surely many people will never understand that feelings, including me. But I have this feeling, seeing a person which is so near had this 'immortal' disease but still act like it was nothing. I mean, how can you act that cool and at the same time knowing that you had that stomach cancer. Tho it is just the first phase or the earliest phase of the disease, still its creeping me out.

Its a story about a junior of mine in the school. I can't tell ya' the name. Its just I'd like to share the experience of mine talking to him almost.. everyday. This boy, knows that he had this disease at the late of the past two weeks semester break. He told me that it was first detected when we was about to went out and play soccer at the field. But when he was going down the stairs, he felt un-describable pain in his stomach and then he fainted. And he get back concious, he was already at the hospital. And after all that he know he had cancer. You know, the first phase of the stomach cancer and the doctor asks him to just not get too active in any outdoor activities.
Before I knew 'bout these things, I used to laugh hardly with him, sometimes I make physical touches that I know can caused a little pains, tickling him on the stomach etc. But thats it.


After I knew about those things, I do nothing except tend to make a heart to heart talk to him, try to fit myself in his shoes to know what he feels at that time and just feels sorry on him. I know it may not help, but that are the only things that I can do. I wonder if I am in his shoes, would I be cool as him? Ya' know, laugh as hard as always, play soccer, table tennis, badminton and any other sports as active as always, would I? Would I stay strong, stay calm as him? Because you know, I'm just too afraid. Afraid to die early at very young age. I don't have that much to be brought as my provision or preparation to face the death, the world of dead people, the doomsday and most of all to face and see what I've done along my life.


Ya Allah (Dear God), please do lead us back to your path, the true path, please, get us back to the life we should actually live, life without sins, day which we put so much efforts praising and make du'a towards you Ya Allah. Please, forgive our sins, our faults, our flaws and please don't drag us to the valley of the sinner to the seven layer of an-Naar. Please, make us dies in the highest level of iman that could we get and please put us to the troop of your nice slaves and lastly please get us into your beautiful Jannah. Amin ya Rabbal A'lamin. Last guys, please recite al-Fatihah for the boy I'm talking about. al-Fatihah.




Do pray and praise everyday,
M. Qarin Al Maduri