Another confession

"It's okay to be a little sad sometimes. Everyone has battles to fight, insecurities to face, loves to contend and goals to attain. It'll do you a lot of good to stop pretending everything is okay and just be real for once."

For many people, who their days used to be spent with me, would know how easy going I am as a person. How I enjoy every little things that sometimes mean nothing to anyone but mean everything to me. How I enjoy picking up fights, no matter small or big, teasing people with my jokes, no matter smooth or harsh and even do something to almost every person that I met just to make myself and themselves happy, no matter small or big. As for those who never see me, I mean face to face in reality, in front of the society would think that I'm the one who will keep my optimism all the time no matter how big the problems and challenges that come, and just overcome 'em with smiles and laughters. No people, you're wrong. No one knows myself as well as I did know about myself. The one who cries when no one else sees, the one who get mad when life is getting really miserable and feel like the world would end on that very moment.

To be honest. I'm not always confident as I seem. There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me, sometimes I just want to be besides someone who would held me; someone to be there when I cry, rub me on the back and says, "Its gonna be okay". I like when people aren't afraid to show what they are really feeling. I don't like when they run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I'm not naive. I know what it feels like to be broken, and I'm too familiar with what it's like to be hurt. This is what I've been keeping as a secret to myself for a very long time. But I believe that there are still people with good heart, sincere emotions and nice characteristics. This is what I've been keeping as a secret to myself for a very long time. And my trust on people has not diminished, yet. And to be honest, I hope it never does. 


Cry when you feels like to, it helps,
M. Qarin Al Maduri